you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
