You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize