i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
