So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
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