that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Randomize
