therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
