Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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