haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
