you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
