he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
