If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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