I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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