she looked like the bat from fern gully.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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