i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
