i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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