i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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