dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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