so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
