hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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