drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
