you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
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