Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
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