Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
