so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Randomize
