White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Randomize
