i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
