i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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