No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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