Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Randomize
