Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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