Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Randomize
