I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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