I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
