Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Randomize
