It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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