just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
