Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
