THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
