How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize
