Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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