Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
