I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
do herpes really smell.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
