Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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