How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
