So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
nutella sex= disaster
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
