i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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