I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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