"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
