you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
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