would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
