I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
