you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
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