): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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